Should I Do No Contact? Free Quiz
Do you need full silence, or just less contact than you have now?
Everyone says "go no contact." That is not always realistic. If you share kids, a dog, or a lease, you may need low contact instead: short, practical, no relationship talk.
Four honest yes-or-no questions. No account needed.
First, your situation
What still ties you to your ex?
Pick the closest match. This only changes which questions you get, not whether your feelings count.
Mutual friends do not count as "having to stay in touch." If that is your main tie, pick Nothing practical.
Question 1 of 4
In the past week, after you texted, called, or saw them, did you feel worse for hours, not just a few minutes?
Question 2 of 4
Do you check their socials, reread old messages, or ask mutual friends how they are doing?
Question 3 of 4
Is part of you still hoping they will change their mind or come back?
Question 4 of 4
When you reach out, is it usually because you miss the feeling of them replying, not because you actually need something?
Question 1 of 4
Do practical messages (pickup times, rent, pet handoffs, work stuff) often turn into relationship talk or arguments?
Question 2 of 4
Do you message them about logistics more often than you really need to?
Question 3 of 4
After you have to contact them, do you replay the conversation, refresh for a reply, or feel worse for hours?
Question 4 of 4
Are you using "we have to coordinate" as a reason to stay emotionally close?
You probably need more distance right now.
Contact, or almost-contact, is costing you. That is useful information, not a character flaw.
You do not have to announce anything or make a speech. Mute their notifications. Stop checking their profile. Put the phone down when you want to "just see what they are up to."
If you slip and text them, note what set it off and keep going. One message does not erase your progress.
Distance works best when you are doing it for you, not to make them miss you.
Strict no contact might not be necessary yet.
Your answers suggest contact is not wrecking you right now. That can change. Check back in with yourself in a week.
Stay honest about why you are reaching out: habit, hope, or something you actually need.
Wondering about friendship instead? Take our friends-with-ex quiz . Missing someone and being ready for friendship are not the same thing.
You need tighter boundaries on the contact you cannot avoid.
Keep it to pickups, school, and health. Brief and practical. Do not process the breakup in the co-parenting thread. Save that for a friend or your journal.
Handoffs and vet stuff only. Skip the "just wanted to say they miss you" texts. If every swap leaves you gutted, shared custody might be hurting you more than helping. One person keeping the pet, or a friend handling handoffs, is allowed.
Agree times to grab your things. No "can we talk about us" while someone is still moving out.
Work scope only. No after-hours chat that is really about the two of you.
Money, legal, shared bills: facts only. No extra messages to fill the silence.
You do not have to go fully silent. You need less contact than you have now, with clearer limits on topic and timing.
Reply when you have to. Not when you are lonely.
Your necessary contact sounds mostly under control.
You still have to coordinate, and you are not failing at healing because of that. This is the harder version of distance: functional, not romantic.
Keep messages practical. If a thread starts drifting into the relationship, close it.
If handoffs or work chats start leaving you worse for hours, come back and tighten up. You can adjust as you go.
Trying to put space between you and your ex?
Trying to keep logistics from turning into heartbreak?
Breakup Reset helps you track no-contact, check in with yourself, and keep a private journal. It is free.
Download Breakup Reset for FreeFrequently Asked Questions
Should everyone do no contact after a breakup?
No. For a lot of people, less contact helps. If you share kids, a workplace, or a lease, full silence may not be realistic. The goal is usually less contact than you have now, with clearer boundaries where contact has to stay.
Can I do no contact if we have kids?
You cannot vanish, but you can do logistics-only contact. Pickup times, school, health. Keep it short. Do not work through the relationship in the co-parenting chat.
What if we share a pet?
Same idea: handoffs, vet visits, who has them this week. Not daily photo updates to stay close. If shared custody keeps reopening the wound, it is okay to rethink the arrangement.
Does checking their Instagram count as contact?
For healing, usually yes. Your body often reacts the same whether you text or scroll. "Technically not messaging" while checking their profile every day is not much of a break.
Is no contact just a trick to get my ex back?
That is how it gets sold online. Distance helps most when you are doing it for your own recovery, not as a tactic to make them miss you.
What if I already texted them?
Note what triggered it and keep going. One message does not mean you are back at zero.
What if we still live together for now?
Pick Housing or belongings in the quiz. Keep talk to move-out logistics until someone has a new place. It is temporary tight boundaries, not forever.
I do not feel safe around my ex. Is this quiz enough?
No. If you do not feel safe, distance is not optional. Get support from someone you trust or a professional. This quiz is for the messy middle, not danger.